A Final Commandment Kept

Christ loved and honored his mother as a mother should be honored.

This month, many in the world will celebrate Mother’s Day, a day set aside to remember and honor our mothers. Did you know more phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year? These holiday chats with Mom often cause phone traffic to spike by as much as 37 percent.

The origins of Mother’s Day, as celebrated in North America, date to the 19th century. In the years before the U.S. Civil War, Ann Reeves Jarvis of West Virginia helped start “Mothers’ Day Work Clubs” to teach local women how to properly care for their children. These clubs later became a unifying force in a region of the country still divided over the Civil War. In 1868, Jarvis organized “Mothers’ Friendship Day,” at which mothers gathered with former Union and Confederate soldiers to promote reconciliation.

Wow! What a concept, getting older and younger mothers to teach their children to get along with each other and be reconciled. Mothers, if you are looking for something to do in the community today, do I have a job for you!

I know many whose mothers have fallen asleep, and that loss is still there. We put our hope in our merciful heavenly Father for a better day to come, when his mercy and wisdom will be revealed, and times of sorrow and sighing will flee away.

It is a painful time when one’s mother dies, no matter what the situation, no matter what the age. No matter whether that mother was in Christ or not, the feeling of loss is still there. I feel for those whose mothers have fallen asleep in the Lord. I feel for those who did not have a loving mother or perhaps a painful relationship. Whether there be loss or past pain in a relationship, we all need to know that in the Lord, there are mothers in Israel, our spiritual Israel, that abound that one could and should seek out.

We need mothers like Naomi, who took Ruth, a daughter-in-law, with her back home. But Naomi didn’t just see her as a daughter-in-law; she viewed herself as a mother to Ruth. If you experience loss, pain, or disappointment, let another mother in the faith into your heart to help be there for you in your time of need. And sisters, make yourselves available to those who have such a need.

Then there is Deborah.

Villages were deserted, they were deserted in Israel, until I, Deborah, arose, a mother in Israel. (Judges 5:7).1

Notice how Deborah refers to herself first as a mother. Yes, Chapter 4 does say she was a Judge and a prophetess. But for her, she was first and foremost a mother to children who were leaderless and needed guidance and nurturing.

As a mother, Deborah was there for everyone, to increase the faith of many by example and word, encouraging the fainthearted. Sisters, each of you has that wonderful opportunity to be that comforting and encouraging mother in the faith. This is no trivial role. This is a vital role. A mother in the faith can impact the lives of others beyond measure. There are ways a mother deals with things that are far different than a father or a brother in the ecclesia. It is, for the most part, a unique type of nurturing. Both mother and father have a necessary role to play in the natural and ecclesial family. Never underestimate the powerful influence a believing mother can and should have.

To those whose mothers are still alive, make each day count. If there is some unresolved conflict, address it now. If you hold some hurt, then forgive. If there is love to be shown, show it— not just today, but each day forward. Never take for granted the one who bore you.

I was down for a visit with my mother in Florida early last year. She turned 92 in October the year before. She had become bedridden but was hoping in time she would be able to get into a wheelchair with help. However, we all knew it was unlikely. Her body was weak, and her eyes and ears were failing. Her mind and memory were sharp for a time, and she maintained a certain stubbornness that, I guess, at her age, allowed her a bit more grace. It’s hard for a son to be patient sometimes, but nevertheless, showing respect and love should never be hard. We do not know what time any of us have. My mother fell asleep in the Lord last year on September 1.

And for those who are mothers or grandmothers now, no matter how young or old your children are, I commend the simple message Paul sent to Timothy about his upbringing. Paul saw the impact that a mother and grandmother can have. It wasn’t just the natural things of daily living, but in particular, the spiritual influence and impact.

For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelled in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. (2 Timothy 1:5).

There is one more mother-and-son relationship and event we need to consider.

In the midst of his greatest anguish, Jesus’ attention was not on himself and his needs. We know this from the wonderful instruction he gave to his disciples, which is recorded in John 14-16, and then in his prayer for them and us in John 17. Take the time to read through all these chapters and appreciate and heed his instruction and prayer for us. Read the account again and again. Jesus was thinking of others. In the Garden, his prayer was for his Father’s will to be done, not his own. And even as he hung on that cross, beaten and bleeding and in pain, his focus was on all his Father was accomplishing in him in this way. We see illustrated in his last sayings some of his final words to the Apostle John. We want to focus on one of his final acts of obedience to see how he made provision for his mother.

A Scene No Mother Wants to See

Jesus’ enemies were not the only spectators at the cross. As word got around Jerusalem that Jesus was under arrest and had been condemned to death by the Sanhedrin and then by Pilate, some of his closest loved ones came to be near him. Besides John it was women, some being mothers sharing the pain along with Jesus’ mother.

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleopas, and Mary Magdalene. (John 19:25).

John also indicates in verse 26 that he was present, referring to himself the way he always did in his gospel some five times, as “the disciple whom [Jesus] loved.” (John 21:20–24). I realize some have concluded that it was someone other than the Apostle John; however, for now we will go with John as that will not affect the point we wish to make.

The pain of watching Jesus die was no doubt agonizing for his loved ones. But for no one was it more difficult than for his mother, Mary. Years before, at his birth, the elderly prophet Simeon told her:

Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and for a sign to be opposed—and a sword will pierce even your own soul—to the end, that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed. (Luke 2:34–35 NASB).

John records at the end of Jesus’ life:

When they came to Jesus, they did not break His legs since they saw that He was already dead. But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and at once blood and water came out. (John 19:33-34).

One can imagine the fulfillment at that moment of Simeon’s words to Mary. As that sword pierced Jesus’ side, it was now piercing her heart as she watched her firstborn son die.

She had raised him since childhood. She knew his utter perfection better than anyone. Yet as she watched, crowds of people poured contempt on her son, cruelly mocking and abusing him. His bleeding, brutalized body hung helplessly on the cross, and all she could do was watch his agony.

The sorrow and pain such a sight would cause his mother is unfathomable. Instead of shrieking and crumpling in hysteria, turning and fleeing in terror, or collapsing or fainting at the horrible sight, she stood. She is a model of courage in faith. She knew who he was and understood his mission. Nevertheless, it was hard to witness.

Jesus had little energy left as he hung there. Any word he uttered would be strenuous and painful, so the few words he was able to say were very telling. He saw her standing and grieving there, and what he said from the cross reflects the tender love of a son for his mother.

When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” From that hour the disciple took her into his own household. (John 19:26–27 NASB).

When Jesus said, “Behold, your son,” it could have been referring to himself or possibly John. Now, you may disagree, but it would seem by the context he probably nodded at John. Regardless, he was making a gracious, loving provision for his mother in the years to come. He was delegating to John the responsibility to care for Mary in her old age.

A Unique Relationship

This was a beautiful moment and more than just a gesture. It says a lot about the personal nature of Jesus’ love. Although he was dying under the most excruciating kind of anguish, Jesus, the king of love, selflessly turned aside from his personal pain and anguish to care for the earthly needs of those who stood by his side. Although he was occupied with the most important event in history, that of redemption, he remembered to make provision for the needs of one woman, his mother. (cp. Exodus 20:12).

Paul repeats the words of Exodus 20, with emphasis.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may turn out well for you, and that you may live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1-3 NASB).

He addresses her as “woman.” Nowhere in the gospels does he ever call her “mother,” only “woman.” The expression conveys no disrespect, although, in current society, it has been used as a condescending expression toward women. It may be that by using “woman” he had intent to draw our minds back to Genesis 3, where the woman is promised “a seed” that would crush the serpent’s head (sin). Here, it underscores that Christ was much more to Mary than a Son. He was also her Saviour. Mary expressed in her prayer, “And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.” (Luke 1:47). She understood God was in Christ, in her son, reconciling the world unto Himself.

Mary was no sinless co-redeemer. She knew redemption was in her son, who was also the son of God, the Messiah, the Christ. She was as dependent on divine grace as the lowliest of sinners. After Jesus reached adulthood, her relationship with him was the same as that of any obedient believer in the Lord. She was a disciple; he was the Master.

Christ Himself rebuked those who wanted to elevate Mary to a place of extraordinary reverence:

As He was saying these things, a woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “The womb that bore You and the one who nursed You are blessed!” He said, “Even more, those who hear the word of God and keep it are blessed!” (Luke 11:27–28).

Mary was blessed because she was obedient to the Word of God, the same as other faithful believers. Her position as Christ’s mother did not carry with it any special titles, such as co-mediator, queen of heaven, or any of the other forms of deification that medieval superstition has attached to the popular misconception of Mary. Let’s be perfectly clear: it is a form of idolatry to bestow on Mary honor, titles, or attributes that, in effect, give her a coequal status in the redemptive work of her son or that elevate her as a special object of veneration. None of what we have said is intended to diminish what the angel declared to her, recorded in Luke 1:28 (KJV), “Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.”

Mary knew she had been blessed by God, but certainly not in those other ways mentioned above. Being a true mother, she neither sought out nor needed any public praise or recognition. It is one of the highest callings a woman can have. For the most part, only God really sees all that a true mother does and will honor in His way, not man’s way.

Nonetheless, Christ loved and honored his mother as a mother should be honored. He fulfilled the fifth commandment, this final commandment, as perfectly as he fulfilled them all. And part of the responsibility of honoring one’s parents is the duty to see that they are cared for in their old age. Christ did not neglect that duty.

Just a couple of final thoughts. It is perhaps significant that Jesus did not commit Mary to the care of His own half-brothers. Mary was evidently a widow by now. Nothing is said of Joseph after the gospel narratives about Jesus’ birth and childhood. Apparently, he had died sometime before Jesus began His public ministry. But Scripture shows that after Jesus’ birth, Mary and Joseph had a marital relationship that was in every sense normal (Matthew 1:24-25). Despite the claims of other denominations, Scripture does not allow us to believe Mary remained perpetually a virgin. On the contrary, the gospels clearly state that Jesus had brothers (Mark 3:31–35; John 2:12; Luke 8:19–21). Matthew even names them: “James and Joseph and Simon and Judas.” (Matthew 13:55). They would have in fact been half-brothers, the natural offspring of Mary and Joseph.

Why didn’t Jesus appoint one of his half-brothers to look after Mary? Perhaps because, according to John 7:5 (CSB), “For not even his brothers believed in him,” at least at that time. We do see they became believers after Jesus rose from the dead, as Acts 1:14 (NASB) records that they were among the group meeting for prayer in the Upper Room when the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost: “These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers.”

Isn’t it amazing how our Lord Jesus was teaching us things to the very end? Things that perhaps we might have neglected if we had been in a similar suffering situation. As we started this article, the month of May contains a day the world sets aside to remember and honor mothers, and it is a wonderful step. Let it be more than just giving a gift; it shows true love and appreciation. The instruction to honor father and mother was intended by God to be an everyday affair. Let us live on the precious commandment, the first commandment with promise. Jesus fulfilled that commandment right to the very end, and he has also received the promise.

Alan Markwith,
Hamilton Greenaway Ecclesia, ON