This article is part of the series: Building Relationships God’s Way

Building Relationships God’s Way: Part 2

What does it truly mean to belong to the ecclesia? This article explores how God designs our fellowship to create unity that is strong, resilient, and centered in Christ.

By DAVID FRASER

Read Time: 11 minutes

When we emerged from the waters of baptism, we entered a relationship unprecedented in all our prior experience. Suddenly, strangers became family. People we had never met became our brothers and sisters. Across continents and cultures, time zones and languages, we found ourselves bound to fellow believers by ties stronger than blood—the common bond of faith in Jesus Christ and hope in his coming Kingdom.

This association is the ecclesia—much more than a building or an organization, but a called-out community of believers united by the same gospel, sharing the same hope, and journeying together toward the same destination. The Greek word ekklesia means “assembly” or “called-out ones,” and it captures something vital: we have been summoned from the world to form a new community with God at its center.

Yet this beautiful relationship is not without its challenges. Ecclesial life brings together diverse personalities, backgrounds, and perspectives. The same intimacy that makes fellowship so precious can also make conflict so painful. How do we navigate these waters? The answer lies in returning to the divine principles that govern all thriving relationships.

Living Stones: The Architecture of Fellowship

Peter offers a striking metaphor for ecclesial relationships: “You also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 2:5).¹ This image repays careful reflection.

Consider how a stone wall is constructed. Each stone is different—varying in size, shape, color, and texture. No two are identical. Yet when skillfully assembled by a master builder, these irregular stones interlock to form a structure far stronger than any individual stone could be. The very irregularities that might seem like defects become points of connection, each stone’s unique contours fitting into the spaces created by its neighbors.

Ancient stonemasons understood something remarkable: a wall built of perfectly uniform bricks has a hidden weakness. Under stress, cracks can propagate along the regular joints, potentially bringing down the entire structure. But a wall of irregular stones, properly fitted, distributes stress throughout the structure—there are no continuous weak lines. The irregularities become its strength.

This strength is God’s design for the ecclesia. Our differences—those personality variations, background distinctions, and perspective divergences that sometimes frustrate us—are not mistakes to eliminate. They are features to embrace. When we learn to fit together, our irregularities interlock to create a spiritual house stronger than any collection of identical believers could ever be.

But mark this: the stones don’t assemble themselves. They require a master builder. And notice too: the cornerstone determines the orientation of every other stone in the structure. Christ is both our builder and our cornerstone—our frame of reference, along with the apostles, as our foundation (Ephesians 2:20-22). Without him, we are just a pile of rubble. With him, we become a temple.

The Threefold Cord in Ecclesial Life

In our previous article, we explored how Solomon’s threefold cord illuminates all relationships. The principle applies powerfully to ecclesial fellowship. Every relationship between brothers and sisters requires that essential third strand—God Himself—to achieve its full strength and stability.

Remember the principle: a two-strand rope is stronger than a single strand, but still prone to unwinding under stress. Add a third strand, however, and the rope becomes 2.5 times stronger than a single strand, with vastly improved resistance to unraveling. The addition of the third strand transforms the fragile pair into a self-strengthening compact that holds together even when one strand fails.

In ecclesial terms, relationships built merely on personal affinity—shared interests, compatible personalities, natural friendship—have the same vulnerability as a two-strand rope. When stress comes, when opinions clash, when offenses occur, these relationships tend to “unravel.” Each party rotates around their own axis of self-interest, and eventually, they separate.

But when God is woven into the relationship as the third strand, everything changes. Shared submission to His authority creates the triangular stability that holds brothers and sisters together even under tremendous pressure. His Word provides the overarching strength when disagreements arise. And even when one party fails—and we all fail at times—the relationship doesn’t immediately collapse, because the divine strand holds the strained cords together. Are we including God as the third strand in our relationships?

The Foundation of True Fellowship

We recognize that ecclesial fellowship rests on a foundation more substantial than shared interests. Our unity is grounded in common belief in the gospel—the “first principles” of truth that define who we are as Christadelphians. This doctrinal foundation is not optional ornamentation; it is the bedrock upon which we build everything else.

The Apostle Paul understood this well. He urged the Corinthians to “all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” (1 Corinthians 1:10). This unity of mind is not uniformity of opinion on every matter—it is agreement on those essential truths.

When Amos asked, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3), he identified the prerequisite for sustained fellowship. Ecclesial unity depends on a shared submission to the authority of Scripture as the standard for faith and practice. This common authority provides the meeting point where diverse individuals can find agreement beyond their personal preferences and prejudices.

As has been wisely observed, we must “stick to true principles” while being willing to accommodate “uncertain details.” When both parties in a dispute submit to Scriptural authority, resolution becomes possible. When both seek God’s glory rather than personal vindication, humility replaces defensiveness. By remembering that they stand equally in need of divine grace, impatience gives way to patience. Isaiah beautifully describes this: “You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, the Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.” (Isaiah 58:12). Destruction happens quickly; but building and restoring take time and love.

The Divine Pattern in Ecclesial Relationships

The pattern of mental, moral, and physical development that we observed in our relationship with God applies equally to our ecclesial relationships. As our healthy fellowship moves progressively through these stages, is it producing spiritual fruit?

1. Mental: Unity of Understanding

Fellowship begins in the mind. Before we can walk together effectively, we should understand one another—our beliefs, our backgrounds, our struggles, and our aspirations. This mental connection is built through shared study of Scripture, through teaching and exhortation, through the exchange of thoughts and ideas in Bible class discussions and in private conversations.

The early ecclesia “continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine.” (Acts 2:42). They devoted themselves to learning and understanding truth together. This shared mental engagement created the soil in which deeper relationships could grow. When we study Scripture together, we not only learn divine truth; we understand one another.

2. Moral: Unity of Commitment

In this second step, understanding deepens into commitment. We are not simply “club members” co-existing based on the club’s entry rules. Ecclesial relationships require moral investment—the decision to love one another not merely in word but in deed, to bear with one another’s weaknesses, to forgive as we have been forgiven. We invest time, emotion, patience and compassion in each other’s spiritual well-being, counting others more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3 ESV). This is the realm of covenant loyalty, where we choose to remain faithful even when feelings fluctuate.

Paul described this moral commitment powerfully: “Put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” (Colossians 3:12-13). These emotions don’t just happen to us; they are active choices we make—moral commitments that sustain fellowship through difficulty and the sharing of God’s hatred of “discord among brethren.” (Proverbs 6:19). In ecclesial life it is our wisdom always to bind together rather than allowing fragmentation; keeping the strands of ecclesial unity tightly woven through unity in Him (Psalm 133).

3. Physical: Unity of Action

Mental understanding and moral commitment then find physical expression in showing our faith by what we do. The early believers demonstrated this through tangible actions: “breaking bread from house to house” (Acts 2:46), sharing meals and possessions, meeting one another’s practical needs. The “fellowship” (Greek: koinonia) they shared meant literally “having things in common”—a partnership expressed through concrete acts of service and mutual support.

Our weekly gathering at the Lord’s table represents the summit of this physical fellowship—a tangible, bodily act of communion that expresses our shared faith and mutual commitment. But the principle extends well beyond Sunday morning to every practical expression of brotherly love throughout the week.

The Fruit of Ecclesial Fellowship

When ecclesial relationships follow the divine pattern that we discussed in our first article—mental, moral, physical—they produce abundant fruit. The spirit of Christ in us works through healthy fellowship to accomplish what isolated individuals cannot achieve on their own. What fruits do we produce in our relationships? Some healthy fruits are as follows:

Mutual Building-up

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17). In the context of genuine fellowship, we make one another better. Exhortation and teaching help us grow in understanding. Encouragement strengthens us for the journey. Correction, gently offered in love, helps us see blind spots and overcome weaknesses. This mutual building-up is a hallmark of spiritual maturity.

Support in Difficulty

Solomon observed, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). The ecclesia provides a network of support that sustains us through trials that would crush us in isolation. Shared burdens become lighter; shared sorrows become more bearable; shared experiences provide empathy.

Effective Witness

Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35). For Jesus, the quality of our fellowship is the greatest testimony to the truth of our message. When the world sees believers from diverse backgrounds genuinely loving one another, it witnesses something supernatural—evidence of a transforming gospel that cannot be explained in human terms.

Navigating Differences with Grace

Sometimes, though, even in the healthiest ecclesias, differences arise. Personality conflicts occur. Disagreements about methods and approaches emerge. How do we handle these inevitable tensions without fracturing the body?

The answer lies in maintaining the threefold cord principle—God at the center. When both parties in a dispute submit to the authority of Scripture, resolution becomes possible. This wise principle of a mutually acknowledged independent authority underpins the world’s legal and arbitration systems. How much more then, when both conflicting parties seek God’s glory rather than personal vindication, can humility replace defensiveness? When both acknowledge that they stand equally in need of divine grace, patience dissolves impatience, and stony hearts soften.

On matters of first principle—the essential truths of the gospel—unity is non-negotiable. But on issues of application and judgment, room must be made for differences of conscience. “Submitting to one another” (Ephesians 5:21) means accepting that in many matters, we must defer to collective wisdom even when our personal judgment differs, and to do so without complaint, schism, or creation of cliques that support our view.

The greatest threat to ecclesial unity is not disagreement itself but the spirit in which we handle it. When pride demands victory, relationships suffer. When love seeks the good of the other, even deep disagreements can be navigated without destroying fellowship.

Practical Brotherhood in Daily Life

Ecclesial fellowship extends well beyond our meeting halls and Sunday services. It reaches into every area of life where brothers and sisters interact. Here are practical expressions of the divine pattern—are we practicing these?

Hospitality. Opening our homes to fellow believers creates space for the deeper relationships that formal meetings cannot foster. The early ecclesia’s practice of “breaking bread from house to house” reminds us that fellowship flourishes around shared tables and in living rooms.

Communication. Honest, loving communication prevents the misunderstandings that breed conflict. Speaking truth in love, we address concerns directly rather than allowing resentments to fester. “Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another.” (Ephesians 4:25). This is especially true in an age when text messages replace heartfelt face-to-face engagement. We should never deal with issues by email or by text; always face-to-face, and always after opening in prayer.

Practical service. Love expresses itself through action. Visiting the sick, helping those in need, bearing one another’s burdens—these tangible acts of service demonstrate the reality of our fellowship. “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18). The unexpected call to see how someone is doing, a few helpful verses sent to one who is troubled, an encouraging note to a brother after his exhortation, a simple hearing-ear for those with burdens that need to be shared (not necessarily answered)—all these and more, have an impact greater than we realize. Sometimes they are the last thread of loving contact that keeps a sister or brother from giving up on the race altogether.

Forbearance. Living closely with others inevitably reveals their faults—and ours. We know this from family life, and it is equally true of the ecclesial family. The mature believer learns to bear with weaknesses, to overlook offenses, and to extend the same grace to others that we ourselves know we require. “Love will cover a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8).

The Ultimate Goal: One in Christ

Jesus prayed for his disciples, “That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.” (John 17:21). His prayer reveals the ultimate goal of ecclesial fellowship—a unity that reflects the unity of Father and Son, a oneness that testifies to the watching world.

We have not yet reached the full unity that Christ envisions for us. Our fellowship, though genuine, is still imperfect—shaped and sometimes scarred by the weaknesses, shortcomings, and failures inherent in our humanity. Yet we do not lose heart. We press forward with confidence, anchored in the promise that the One who began this good work within us will faithfully bring it to completion.

Each step counts: every act of forgiveness bridges a gap, every decision to love in the face of difficulty strengthens the bonds, every victory over division reflects his transforming power. Do we practice making choices, great and small, that draw us ever closer to the magnificent, unbreakable unity we aim for in Christ?

The ecclesia is so much more than a social club or a religious organization where we “do religious acts.” It is the body of Christ on earth—a living organism in which each member matters, each relationship contributes, and each expression of love points toward the Kingdom to come. May we cherish this fellowship, nurture it carefully, and guard it zealously until the day when we gather, complete and perfected by grace, around the table of our Lord in his Kingdom.

David Fraser,
Pinetown Ecclesia, South Africa