Grandparents Helping to Shape Faith

Grandparents can manifest our love for God by showing our faith as a strong spiritual foundation for our grandchildren.

About a year ago, Tidings magazine surveyed moms and their parenting challenges. The results were fascinating and inspiring, and we have run several articles trying to address some of the highlights and concerns noted in the survey. 

As an older woman with three daughters, sons-in-law, and six grandchildren, I began thinking about how my role as a parent has changed. I still “do” parenting, but it is a different mindset now. While my daughters and their husbands do consider my advice, they are developing their own style of parenting based on their experiences of growing up, both the good and the not-so-great.

The way my husband, Phil, and I may have parented was not necessarily the same as in the homes of my daughters and sons-in-law. We all have different methods that work for us, and we need to find the best way for our individual families. On the funny side, occasionally, I have been heard to tell my girls, “You weren’t raised like that!” But it doesn’t mean that everything we did was absolutely correct!

The “parenting” by my adult children as adults is quite different. They sometimes come to me for advice or ask me why we did things the way we did. We are all raised in diverse ways, and we were extremely happy to continue enforcing some of the tactics our parents utilized in their home with our own parenting approach. We rejected some things about how we would bring up our kids.

Also, we needed to work out the parenting style that Phil and I were happy to live with. Most important was creating a set of Scriptural rules, values, and guidelines for our family. The Apostle Paul tells us in Titus 2:7 to “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned.” (Titus 2:7-8 ESV).This is an important verse for us to think about as we raise our children, but also for our grandchildren. We need to be that model the same way for them. 

You might think your parenting ends when you become a grandparent, but it does not. It just takes on another facet, a different role. Speaking to many other older brothers and sisters, we all agree that it is a delightful time in our lives. We can enjoy our grandchildren on a level different from when our kids were young. We are still responsible for these kids but in a different way. They run us ragged all day, but then they go home at night. 

They are the dots that connect us as families from generation to generation. We can become friends with them at a much earlier age than we did with our children. We can have fun with them on a different level than our kids. We can be teachers and, to a degree, parents to them as well. We abide by the rules of our children’s parents. We are also one of the most fun “toys” the kids can have.

The Scriptures provided us with a lot of guidance about our roles as grandparents. The most important responsibility we have is to guide our children and grandchildren to a love for God while we show them the path to the Kingdom. We hold their hands when we take them for walks, shopping, or to amusement parks. But we must also hold their hands on the way to the Kingdom. Helping to keep them on that road and cultivating a delight in heading there with us. Pulling them back to the path when they veer off. Explaining why a certain direction might be dangerous or lead them to a place they really should not want to go to.

Psalm 92:14 says, “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.”1 We are not still “having” children, but we help our grandkids mature and learn to develop a deep love for God. We want to keep them fresh and green as fruit to be harvested by our Lord. Our experiences over the years are valuable assets to assist them when they face similar trials to us and the decisions we made. It’s important for us to keep an open and honest communication channel with them so they feel free to ask for our advice and guidance. We especially want to model how we, even in our senior years, still turn to our heavenly Father for help.

Psalm 103:17 says, “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children’s children.” We need to manifest our love for God by showing our faith as a strong spiritual foundation for our grandchildren. We want them to be aware that our beliefs are solid and to develop the same confidence that what we believe is true. We want to give them security and build a deep connection with God.

Deuteronomy 4:6 (ESV) reinforces this, “Observe them [God’s laws] carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding.” Then, in verse 9, we are told to “make them known [God’s commands] to your children and children’s children.” Our Father is truly clear here with His instructions for us, giving us a tremendous mandate to live in faith as we display to them why God’s word is so important to us. Let them see how we always put God first in our everyday lives. We truly do want them to have a spiritual inheritance as well! 

In His book, God has recorded many examples of grandparents that we can study to determine right and wrong steps. These models give us direction and help us to see the possible outcomes of our actions in raising our families. 

One example that stands out for me is Rahab, who became Boaz’s grandmother. Her faith must have been a wonderful example as she shared her story with him about the spies coming to her city and how they helped save her and her family. She would have spoken of how she had heard about this great and powerful God who brought His children out of Egypt and their journey to her land. Her voice on this was recorded for us in Joshua 2:9 (ESV):

I know that the Lord has given you the land, and that the fear of you has fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land melt away before you. 

She would describe how the spies brought her and her family out from Jericho, how she married a man named Salmon, and had Boaz as a son. Boaz then married gentile Ruth, who, in turn, is a model of faithfulness for her grandson David. Imagine her stories of how Naomi demonstrated a love and belief in God that impacted her so deeply that she left her native land as well. These are the faith stories passed down to David! We can turn to both these women as grandmothers, seeing their lives and the standards they upheld and passed down. We need to utilize their examples as we train our little ones.

Another illustration is In 2 Timothy 1:5,  where Paul is speaking to his spiritual son Timothy and also to us. 

I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 

Would we not want our name recorded like this in the Book of Remembrance, that we had passed on our faith to our children and then to our grandchildren? Lois must have been quite a faithful woman to have that kind of influence on her family. I hope my grandchildren can see me in that way as well.

In Psalm 145:4 (ASV) we read. “One generation shall laud your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” As grandparents, we can share the stories of the Bible with our grandchildren in various ways. When they are young, we can read kids’ Bible books and teach them the basic lessons from these characters. We can sit with them at meeting, God willing, or help with their Sunday School lessons. As they grow, we may be able to do the Bible readings with them in person or on FaceTime and have chats with them about what they may have learned from the chapters. As they mature from teens into young adults, we can share the deeper lessons from the Bible and have some great discussions with them. Going to Bible schools and gatherings with them so they can see how important we believe that is to our spiritual walks. The key, however, is to be a conduit for sharing God’s word and lessons with our grandchildren as we support our children with raising the next generation. When they see us love the Lord, it will encourage them to do the same. They really do need to watch us model lives that are consistent with God’s directions.

Another contribution is to share lessons from our own lives. These are the ways that God has provided for us during our experiences and challenges. Showing them His support and blessings to us—one of those blessings being them! When they face difficult trials and don’t understand why they are going through this challenge, we can help them work through it and build trust that God has the answers. We can show them the trials he brings on us are to refine us for Him. We will understand the reasons, maybe in this lifetime or not till the Kingdom. But we need to describe His love for us with examples from Bible characters. There is always a model for us to turn to for encouragement, trust, and direction. God was always there to help Bible characters make important decisions to keep them on God’s path. 

Studies have shown that some of the best ways to be a positive role model are by spending quality time together and listening with love and affection. We should set limits and be consistent in our enforcement while being willing to adjust our parenting/grandparenting skills when they are not responding positively. Helping them express their feelings and always making them feel necessary and loved. Be honest with them so they can share an experience with us and trust we will give them a realistic response or direction. All these reflect our Lord’s instructions to us from His word.

In 3 John 1:4 (NRSV), we read, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” This joy is unparalleled for us as parents and grandmothers when we experience our loved ones living Godly lives and devoting themselves and their families to our Lord. We can tremendously impact our children’s and grandchildren’s faith journeys. We need to run with it, to make it a focus in our lives! 

The experience in our lifetime gives us such a unique position in the hierarchy of our families. We have acquired wisdom, love, and godly traditions and can pass these on to provide encouragement in building faith, love, and reverence for God within our families. We can open our “mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26 ESV).

The good leave an inheritance to their children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous. (Proverbs 13:22 NRSV).

We all feel we should leave a monetary inheritance for our children and grandchildren, but the most essential legacy we can leave them is spiritual and moral. That should be our primary focus, and we would be left with the wonderful blessing of Genesis 17:7 (ESV):

I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you.

When Phil was in the last couple of weeks of his life, his testimony to everyone was the same, whether they called, texted, or visited him. “Concentrate on your children and grandchildren. Help them get to the Kingdom. It is the most important thing you can do.” In looking at God’s words and wisdom, he was right. It needs to be a primary life focus to get ourselves and our heritage of children to the Kingdom! Is there any other joy that could be even remotely as significant as spending eternity with our families? Not just fifty years, but forever!

In conclusion, let’s hold the words from Psalm 78:4-7 (ESV) close to our hearts. 

We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.

Linda Beckerson,
Ann Arbor Ecclesia, MI

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Editor’s Note: Sis. Linda has provided an excellent summary of the opportunities grandparents may have when blessed with children and grandchildren who are faithful members of our community. But what unique challenges are there when that’s not the case? We hope to provide articles from other grandparents who have experienced the challenges of children who are not engaged or who are even opposed to the Truth. How can one be a positive influence on grandchildren in those situations? We welcome your comments and experiences. Please share them with us at editor@tidings.org.