Maternal Moses

We know there is a true Author, one who is beyond gender, and perhaps this is why, even in narratives written by, for, and about men, we can see ourselves and our struggles as women.

It is not a new observation that a great proportion of the human Bible writers were men. And, with some notable exceptions, the main characters largely were as well. Women mostly got supporting roles, though some of these stories of leading ladies are truly beautiful and meaningful. Even the audience in many passages is assumed to be male.

Yet we also know that there is a true Author, one who is beyond gender, beyond Ancient Near Eastern culture, and beyond humanity. Both female and male were made in God’s image in the beginning. Perhaps that is why, even in narratives written by, for, and about men, we can see ourselves and our struggles as women who love this true Author.

Personally, I have been surprised at the powerful insights to be gleaned from characters with whom, on the surface, I have little in common. For example, one of the truly inspiring figures for me as a mom is the very maternal Moses.

Moses… As a Mom?

Does it sound strange to think of Moses as a maternal figure? Perhaps it is. But, as a young mom surrounded by needy little people day in and day out, those endless stories of the complaining Israelites just hit differently. My kids couldn’t solve their own problems because they were, of course, little kids. Moses’ (adult) children were out in the desert, far outside both their comfort zone and their ability to care for themselves. But both situations left the many turning desperately to the one with their never-ending needs. Moses was just as tired and thirsty as the people were, wasn’t he? But there he was every morning, teaching them right from wrong, making sure they were properly fed, dealing with their whining, changing their diapers… OK, maybe not that last one.

Exodus 18 details Moses learning the ropes of leadership (motherhood?) and receiving some powerful advice.

Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening. (Exodus 18:13).1

How many moms—especially those with babies or toddlers—can relate to the image of being surrounded by others and their needs from morning to evening? Even now, years later, I read the verse and feel that oppressive neediness. No wonder an outside observer could see that a change was necessary.

Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people who come to you will only wear yourselves out.” (Exodus 18:17). 

It’s pretty direct and unequivocal: You’ll only wear yourself out. Many parents can likely relate to or remember this feeling of burnout, and perhaps some readers are in the midst of it right now. However, the proposed solution is both insightful and uncomfortable.

The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. “Listen to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you.” (Exodus 18:19). First, of course, Moses had to be willing to accept unsolicited advice and from his in-laws, of all people.

Select capable men from the people… have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you… That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. (Exodus 18:21-23). 

Wait. Do you mean the solution might be that I must admit I can’t handle it all alone? I may have to ask others for help. Ouch!

Of course, some of us naturally express our needs and easily ask for support. But I suspect I am not the only one who finds it extremely difficult, painful even. Instead of asking for help, we let things build up; we grow frustrated at ourselves and our families. We check out of contributing to our ecclesias; we let our marriages suffer. Truly, “What you are doing is not good.”

It can be agonizing and humbling to realize that “the work is too heavy for you, you cannot handle it alone.” And, sometimes, asking for help does turn out just as painful as we feared it would be. Sometimes, our sisters and brothers do judge our homes or our parenting. Sometimes, they come in trying to help and do it all wrong. Some of those judges Moses appointed probably didn’t rule exactly as he would have on their cases. And I bet he had to hear about it whenever that happened. Involving others means giving up some control and being vulnerable to their judgments. Sometimes, especially in the short term, it isn’t really true that “they will make your load lighter because they will share it with you.” But maybe, just maybe, learning to ask for help and rely on others is exactly the process God wants to use as part of our growth.

Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said. (Exodus 18:24). 

Moses wisely recognized that trying to do it all on his own wasn’t working. Not only did he have the humility to take the unsought advice, but he was also willing to risk the pitfalls of asking for help to better care for the family God gave him. This yielding is a powerful example for us as moms.

Family In Crisis

Reading Moses’ stories through the eyes of a mom can open up a deep and valuable level of meaning. The previous chapter provided another compelling example of Moses’ maternal care for his “children.”

The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.” (Exodus 17:8-9).

We are not told whether Moses’ choice to stand on the hill instead of fighting was a command from God or his own initiative. Remember that, even forty years later, Moses had lost none of his physical vigor (Deuteronomy 34:7). But, somehow, leading the battle for his people was a task he could delegate away. Reaching out to God on their behalf was not.

So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. (Exodus 17:10-11).

Again, we are not told whether God specifically instructed this. Did Moses know the tide of battle would turn when he lowered his praying hands? Or did he observe and draw his own conclusions? Either way, it must have been a stunning realization. His family’s success was directly dependent on his continued prayers.

The lesson hardly needs to be spelled out for us as moms. But sometimes, we underestimate just how important it can be to pray for our children. It seems so much more important to be down there fighting. But what if we saw ourselves as Moses up on the mountain? What if we prayed for our kids and their battles as if their lives depended on it? What if they do?

When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. (Exodus 17:12). 

Poor Moses. Imagine the children of Israel returning from the battle that night, exhausted but exhilarated. Did any of them even notice their drained leader who made the victory possible? It is a very maternal image.

Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. (Exodus 17:12). 

Again, a reminder that we can’t do it on our own. Even in a task like praying for our children, we need support and encouragement from others. It is worth considering who “Aaron and Hur” might be in our lives and for whom we may need to play that support role.

Maternal Failures

Even Moses’ most notable failure carries a flavor familiar to us as moms. Who hasn’t occasionally lost their temper at the constant complaining and childishness we are surrounded by? The story is painfully relatable.

Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. They quarreled with Moses and said, “If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the Lord!” (Numbers 20:2-3).

Of course, for Moses, these were fully grown adults; in fact, they were the next generation down from the children he had loved and prayed for decades earlier. But, somehow, I see it taking place in my own kitchen, in the house we lived in when our children were small.

Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the tent of meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. (Numbers 20:6).

They started out with the right reaction, going to God with their family’s needs. But we know where the story is going, the way some of these stories for our own families go.

So Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. (Numbers 20:9-11). 

Yes, we know there are deeper levels to the narrative, that the rock represented Jesus, and that God was working in far more significant ways in Moses’ life. But don’t ignore the human level—the frustration, the impatience, the years of dealing with their never-ending complaints. We seldom intend to lose our temper with our families and usually feel terrible afterward. Did Moses have the same reaction?

Notice also the hints of issues we’ve seen earlier in Moses’ life and ours as moms. “Must we bring you water?” Perhaps Moses here is still struggling to learn the same lessons we often do: thinking that it’s all up to us, forgetting our reliance on God and others. This thought is exactly what the angel follows up with later.

But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” (Numbers 20:12). 

It seems so harsh, doesn’t it? As a parent, it is frightening to contemplate what the consequences of our failures could be. Yet Moses kept going. All through the rest of Numbers and Deuteronomy, he is back to the job God had given him, faithfully caring for his children. 

Conclusion

We can think of other ways in which Moses sets an example for us as moms: his fears about his own inadequacy and his initial reluctance to take on the job melting away into sacrificial love. And Moses is far from the only one. This job God has given us as mothers in Israel can be as difficult and demanding as any we see recorded in the Scriptures. And so, we try to learn the lessons of Moses as a mom.

May we each learn to accept advice, as Moses had to do. May we learn to ask for help despite the problems it might bring. May we come to appreciate the power of praying for our children as they fight their battles. May we learn to rely on God rather than ourselves, as our own strength will always fail us. And may we recover from our failures with full faith in God’s grace. Most importantly, we may learn to draw strength from these examples of faithful motherhood in the Bible, wherever we find them.

Nancy Brinkerhoff,
Denver Ecclesia, CO