The Anxious Generation

We all need help from God and each other in the enormous task of raising children.

Have adults always been suspicious of the next generation and its choices? Today’s parents can likely remember their parents fretting about their video games or popular music. For an even older generation, the culprits may have been their comic books or TV sitcoms that now seem laughably tame. Even in the Bible, the inspired narrator makes a point of blaming Rehoboam’s bad choices on the “young men” (1 Kings 12:8) that the 41-year-old king had grown up with. There is something about each new generation—and perhaps especially its forms of entertainment—that inspires moral panic in its elders.

The issue of kids’ entertainment, and particularly that involving technology, came up frequently in the Tidings Moms Survey that we conducted in early 2024. Many families, it seems, are wrestling with how to set reasonable limits in this area.

Is this our generation’s version of the battle over comic books and video games? Or have the new developments of the 21st century created a qualitatively more dangerous problem for today’s parents? One American social psychology professor and author made a compelling case for the latter position in a best-selling 2024 book. Although the author is not a Christadelphian—or even a Christian—parents of faith might still find his work extremely helpful. The Tidings offers the following review of Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation¹ as one way to start addressing today’s parents’ questions about technology and social media.

As the title suggests, however, Haidt does not begin his analysis with a critique of technology. Instead, his starting point is worrying trends he sees in adolescent mental health. He opens with a series of rather frightening statistics related to depression, anxiety, mental illness, self-harm, and suicide rates among teens and adolescents in Western nations. These rates increased sharply between 2010 and 2015, as “smart” phones and devices became increasingly common. Although some researchers propose other possible causes, Haidt makes the case that nothing can explain the data as thoroughly as “the great rewiring of childhood.” As he states at the end of chapter one, “Children born in the late 1990s were the first generation in history who went through puberty in the virtual world,” a development he calls “the largest uncontrolled experiment humanity has ever performed on its own children.” (p. 44).

But Haidt does not blame the mental health crisis solely on this “experiment.” He also identifies a second, equally important trend in the years before the introduction of smartphones. He calls this “safetyism,” an excessive priority on protecting children from even minor risks in real life. This phenomenon has led to a decline in free play in childhood, a sharp increase in adult-led, rule-bound children’s activities, and time spent indoors on screens. Haidt lays out his thesis in the introduction: “My central claim in this book is that these two trends—overprotection in the real world and under protection in the virtual world—are the major reasons why children born after 1995 become the anxious generation.” (p. 9).

Haidt shares several significant findings about the dangers of what he calls a “phone-based childhood,” which he contrasts with “play-based childhood.” Anyone who works with kids or teens will likely relate to what he identifies as the “four foundational harms” of technology: social deprivation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation, and the potential for addiction. (pp. 139-140). Parents of girls might be especially interested in the chapter on “Why Social Media Harms Girls More Than Boys” (Chapter 6, pp. 143-172). Haidt faces the uncomfortable issue of Internet pornography head-on, along with the potential harms of video games and the social trends harming first-world young men, in the next chapter, “What is Happening to Boys?” (Chapter 7, pp. 172-197).

But, for most parents, the most helpful portion of Haidt’s book will be the final section. Here, he shares specific suggestions for solving the problems we all suspected, which he pointedly identified in the previous 200 pages. Haidt calls the challenges around technology and social media “collective action problems,” which he defines as “traps where each individual does what she thinks is best for herself, even though, when everyone makes the same choice, it leads to a bad outcome for all.” (p. 222). It is tempting for each individual family to take the easy way out with early smartphone access and unfettered screen time. But, working together, groups and communities can support each other to make better choices.

The chapter on “What Governments and Tech Companies Can Do” is less applicable to most of us. Still, though, many parents would cheer his suggestions to “Facilitate age verification” on phones and apps (p. 236) and “Stop punishing parents for giving children real-world freedom.” (p. 240).

Haidt’s suggestions about “What Schools Can Do Now” might give helpful pointers both to school administrators and to parents choosing the best educational options for their children. He strongly encourages schools to ban phones during class time and “go phone free for the entire school day. When students arrive, they should put their phones into a dedicated phone locker or a lockable phone pouch.” (p. 265). Haidt also encourages schools to provide more free play in the real world: recess. Schools can “improve recess in three ways: Give more of it, on better playgrounds, with fewer rules.” (p. 265).

In his final chapter, Haidt addresses “What Parents Can Do Now.” Here, he gives research-backed suggestions to improve real-world experiences and limit screen time at each age. The summary included here is likely worth the book’s price, even if busy parents only have time to read this chapter.

Video calls with friends and family are the only recommended screen time for children younger than 18 months. Parents can allow limited technology-based entertainment as kids grow, though Haidt offers significant caveats. “Turn off all screens during family meals and outings” is one crucial suggestion, along with “Avoid using screens as pacifiers, babysitters, or to stop tantrums.” (p. 271).

For school-aged children, Haidt’s recommendations first focus on “More [and better] experience in the real world.” (pp. 272-274). This advice includes offering kids increasing levels of independence and experiences such as technology-free summer camps and family vacations. (Note that Christadelphian camps have mostly been ahead of the curve in enforcing this!) Although he offers specific daily limits on technology, perhaps even more helpful are his other suggestions, such as learning to use parental controls, looking for signs of addiction, and maximizing in-person activity and sleep rather than simply limiting screen hours. (pp. 276-279).

These twin themes, more and better real-world experiences and less screen time, are also the basis of Haidt’s suggestions for teens. Parents are encouraged to allow more independence through nature, travel, or part-time jobs (pp. 281-284). In addition, Haidt suggests questions parents can ask to initiate conversations with their teenagers about technology and social media. Like the rest of us, teens often realize they need support in their self-discipline around technology.

The “collective action problems” for individual kids not wanting to be the only ones without devices are real. However, groups of families can work together to support each other in enforcing new norms, such as no smartphones until high school and no social media until age sixteen. “In sum,” Haidt writes, “Being a parent is always a challenge, and it has become far more challenging in our era of rapid social and technological change. However, there is a lot parents can do.” (p. 286).

Haidt’s book provides valuable suggestions for parents on a key issue. However, readers should note that he does come from a secular, agnostic point of view. Some will find his regular references to how children’s brains evolved jarring or off-putting. However, readers who push through the disagreement will likely be glad they did. The main point—that we were made for real community, not virtual—is that we who understand God’s creation of our minds and bodies will appreciate it even more. The author is not unfriendly to faith and recognizes that a religious upbringing brings real advantages. He also includes a rather beautiful chapter about choosing spiritual elevation over the degradation of screen-based culture. This common ground can provide good talking points with other parents interested in this issue, whether they are religious or not.

We all need help from God and each other in the enormous task of raising children. We hope that in sharing resources such as The Anxious Generation, we can each better navigate parenting challenges, new and old.

Nancy Brinkerhoff,
Denver Ecclesia, CO

 

1. Haidt, Jonathan. The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. New York: Penguin Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2024.