The Power of the Tongue

The Bible reminds us of the immense power of our tongues, urging us to use them wisely.

In a world where words can either uplift or devastate, the profound effects of discouragement are felt all too often. The Bible reminds us of the immense power of our tongues, urging us to use them wisely. Proverbs 18:21 declares, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” emphasizing our responsibility in speaking to and about one another.1 The Apostle Paul encourages believers to “speak the truth in love” and to “build each other up.” (Ephesians 4:15; 1 Thessalonians 5:11). Despite these Biblical teachings, it’s alarmingly easy to fall into patterns of negativity, tearing others down with harsh words and criticism. As we reflect on these Scriptures, we must be mindful of our words, striving to create a culture of encouragement and support that reflects Christ’s love and compassion.

We have all had the experience of being “deflated” by one sharp criticism regarding anything from our outward appearance, and our ideas or plans, to our exposition of Scripture. Remember that time you were in a committee meeting planning an ecclesial outreach project? You had an exciting and innovative idea of how to attract people to the event, and most of the other members seemed keen. Then came that comment from one person—“It’ll never work. I heard they tried that at an ecclesia out west—total failure. Why waste our time and money on something that won’t accomplish our goal?” Of course, then they add, “I’m not trying to be negative or anything—just being realistic.” As if that helps at all.

Or what about the Bible class that went really well, and you were excited and encouraged by the words the speaking brother? Then it was “opened up for discussion,” and everything fell apart—someone suggested an alternative view, people got defensive, tones of voice hardened, and soon the discussion became an argument. You left wondering why you even came. It’s sadly amazing that just a few harsh negative ones can destroy hundreds of positive and uplifting words.

There are at least two goals we hope to accomplish with this article. Firstly, how can we avoid being the one who says the negative comment? Secondly, how can we avoid the harmful effects when we receive critical or pessimistic words?

There are several examples in the Bible where people were deeply affected—emotionally, spiritually, or even physically—by the negative words of others. Here are a couple of notable ones:

Job (Job 19:2-3). “How long will you torment my soul, and break me in pieces with words? These ten times you have reproached me; You are not ashamed that you have wronged me.”

Job’s friends accused him of sin and blamed him for his suffering instead of offering comfort, which only deepened his despair. Initially they just sat with him in silence—“So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” (Job 2:13). They would have been better off never opening their mouths.

The Israelites and the Ten Spies (Numbers 13:31-33). “But the men who had gone up with him said, ‘We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we.’…And they gave the children of Israel a bad report of the land.”

When Moses later recounted this event, he said, “Our brethren have discouraged our hearts, saying, ‘The people are greater and taller than we.’” The negative report from the ten spies caused widespread fear and discouragement, leading the Israelites to doubt God and refuse to enter the Promised Land. As a result, they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. Note that Caleb and Joshua’s positive report and encouragement to go up into the land, and that God would be with them, was swamped by the pessimism of the other spies.

How can we avoid being the one to say negative things? Certainly, the Scriptures are clear: “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29). The Greek word here translated “edification” literally means “to build a home;” to make a safe space for someone by comforting them with your words.

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4). The Hebrew word translated “perverseness” means distortion, i.e., figuratively, viciousness. In contrast, the word “wholesome” in Hebrew means curative, i.e., literally, a medicine—a tongue of healing. Do our words bring healing and a cure to the situation, or do we distort the facts and twist words, resulting in a vicious cycle of negativity and distress? The choice is ours to make. “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.” (Proverbs 12:18).

What can we do when the harsh words of others have crushed our spirit?

David was discouraged by the words of others, like his own son Absalom, and his trusted friend and counselor Ahithophel. He wrote about them: “Who sharpen their tongue like a sword, and bend their bows to shoot their arrows—bitter words, that they may shoot in secret at the blameless.” (Psalm 64:3–4). The only solution was to see the long view and trust in God. “The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and trust in Him. And all the upright in heart shall glory.” (v. 10). God orchestrated a victory in David’s life, just as He will in ours if we trust in His ways. When we allow Him to direct our paths, the voices of the naysayers won’t sway us. His guidance and faithfulness will lead us through any challenge, just as He did for David. Let us anchor our hearts in His promises and move forward with unwavering faith, knowing His plans for us are always good.

Joseph is another one who the arrows of the wicked hit. His brothers mocked him and shot arrows at him when they called him the “dreamer” in Genesis 37:19. The Hebrew literally means “master of dreams.” Jacob, their father, picked up on this idea while blessing Joseph. He said, “The archers have bitterly grieved him, shot at him and hated him.” (Genesis 49:23). The Hebrew means “the masters of arrows.” His brothers were experts in letting sharp and bitter words fly from their mouths. But Jacob also gave the key to Joseph’s success: “But his bow remained in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the Mighty God of Jacob.” (Genesis 49:24).

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28–30).

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. (Psalm 42:5).

These verses acknowledge that discouragement is real and can happen to anyone, but also encourage perseverance and faith in God’s strength.

When Barnabas wanted to include John Mark in the second missionary journey, “Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work.” These words of Paul may have been critical, but they were facts. However, “the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another.” (Acts 15:38–39). We don’t have a dialogue transcript, but there must have been some combative words. The word “contention” comes from a root that means to exasperate. Interesting that the same word is used in Hebrews 10:24, translated provoke. “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.” (KJV).

We also don’t know what Barnabas said to John Mark, but he did take him to Cyprus and must have encouraged him. We know “Barnabas” was his nickname because he was known as the “Son of Consolation or Encouragement” (see Acts 4:36). Whatever the case, it worked! Paul later acknowledged that John Mark had been worth the second chance, and he wrote, “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:11).

Be the Barnabas to John Mark after the words of Paul. And be John Mark, not discouraged by Paul, but encouraged by Barnabas’s loving and faithful words and ministrations. “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9).

These examples demonstrate the necessity—at times—for constructive criticism. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6). There was another time Paul had to use strong words, when the hypocrisy of the Judaizers swayed Peter. Paul had to publicly “withstood him to his face,” and strongly rebuke him (Galatians 2:11-16 NIV). Jesus also told Peter to “Get thee behind me Satan!” (Matthew 16:23). Yet these reprimands were essential for Peter’s character development. While he may have been discouraged and hurt initially, he grew in faith because of the admonishment and felt no ill will towards his Lord or fellow disciples.

When delivered with love and care, constructive criticism is a powerful tool for growth and improvement. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend,” highlighting the value of constructive feedback in refining our character. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to be “speaking the truth in love,” reminding us that positive, loving criticism can help us grow and become more Christ-like in our actions and attitudes.

As we reflect on the profound impact of our words, let us strive to be instruments of encouragement rather than agents of discouragement. The Bible calls us to build each other up, speak words of life and hope, and embody Christ’s love and compassion. In a world where negativity can so easily take root, let us choose to be voices of positivity and support. By lifting each other up, we honor God’s teachings and create a community that thrives on mutual respect and kindness. Let us be mindful of the power of our words and commit to using them to inspire and edify those around us.

Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. (James 3:10).

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. (Colossians 4:6).

Chris Sales,
Collingwood Ecclesia, ON