Wisdom for Daily Life

Solomon's principles for righteous living in Proverbs can help us detangle the conflicts and wars among us and improve our relationships greatly.

Whenever I read The Proverbs, I worry that we don’t give it the time it deserves. Within its thirty-one chapters is a treasure chest filled with rubies and gems of understanding and wisdom, each to be unpacked and applied in our lives. As Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes, there is nothing new under the sun. Solomon’s principles for righteous living in Proverbs can help us detangle the conflicts and wars among us and improve our relationships greatly.

Early in his days as king, Solomon made an important choice. Rather than ask for long life, riches, or control over his enemies, Solomon instead requested of God that he might have “understanding to discern judgment.” (1 Kings 3:11). God was pleased with his election and gave him “a wise and an understanding heart; so there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like thee.” (v. 12).

Throughout Proverbs, Solomon elevates understanding and wisdom above all things we can pursue. When we can truly discern right from wrong, we may live lives of righteousness and peace. It offers us a new perspective on our human experience. It lifts us up from unwise behaviors and shortcuts and provides a spiritual roadmap. It permits us to live in the flesh by applying Divine wisdom rather than the impulses of the fleshly mind.

Let’s look at just a few of Solomon’s counsels for believers, as we acknowledge there are so many we can’t discuss here.

Temptation to Sin

Unfortunately, we overestimate ourselves when it comes to resisting sin. Sometimes, we can become jaded by sin, for we see it almost inescapably around us. Our theory is that we know the risks of having objects of temptation around us, but we are confident we have sufficient knowledge and faith to govern our behavior. Well, maybe! But Solomon, who certainly knew the hearts of men, had a vastly different exhortation.

If we want to be a holy people, having temptation in our bosom is no way to live. We need not legislate compliance for others, but rather, the responsibility of each brother and sister is to survey what is in their house, who they are associating with, and what their focus is in business pursuits. If these represent potential temptations, get them out of your life! If it is at the corner of your street, walk another way. Solomon encourages us to make a choice well before the sin occurs. At the core of this is how we see evil. Solomon writes:

As holy people, we can’t just shake our heads at evil on our television or around us. We must hate it. We don’t want any part of it.

Solomon speaks of addiction to wine in chapter 23. He describes how it begins in an innocuous way. The wine is attractive as it sparkles in the glass. It’s pleasant to the taste. But in the end, it is like a serpent bite. Addiction to substances leads to only seeking another drink or another satisfaction of the desire. (v. 35).

I’ve gone to this passage often when describing various addictions and the process of being overcome by them. But over time, I see Solomon wasn’t exclusively talking about wine, or overeating, or other compulsive activities. It is a description of how sin enters our lives. It starts deceptively. We see the attraction, and it appears we have it all under control. But in time, it overcomes us. It can become the driving force for our minds to satisfy the urge again.

If we discern a spiritual risk, the time to act is before it becomes a source of sin. Avoid it. Pass not by it. Be proactive!

Control of Our Impulses

Typically, we think of the Epistle of James when we contemplate controlling our tongue. James has rightly been called the Proverbs of the New Testament. But it is Solomon who provides insights for controlling one’s spirit, including the words we speak. How people speak is a key means of identification between the fool and the wise.

All of us will experience things being said or done to us that naturally produce an angry response. Deep inside, we want to lash back, to win the argument, to humble our adversary. These are all impulses of the flesh. However, saying nothing is, at times, the most powerful position. The Lord used it when he was being falsely accused. Solomon says that the wise use it regularly.

There are many more references in Proverbs to this principle. But one stuck out to me. We might find a way to control our tongue—not to lash out. But is that really the answer? If I still hold a grudge against the offender, isn’t just controlling my tongue an artificial behavior? Solomon addresses this, too.

James further develops this.

The wise don’t bark back. They don’t enter into the instability and disorder of intense arguments. They decide to defer their anger, to let it cool off. They don’t fan the flames of conflict. But beyond that, they choose to pass over the transgression against them. They forgive.

In most cases, choosing not to be angry when an indiscretion is aimed at you will end the conflict right where it started. It suffocates the flame. James says this is the fruit of righteousness, for it is sowing peace. What do you want to grow in your garden? Envy, jealousy, and anger, or the fruit of righteousness?

Turning Our Faces

I sometimes hear brothers and sisters inappropriately use the phrase, “Who are you to judge?” Now, there is some truth to this. We are never to be condemning judges. We shouldn’t have any part of that, as it is exclusively the authority of our Lord. We aren’t qualified to look into hearts or judge motives. It isn’t a role that the Lord has given us.

But we are to judge! The word “judging” confuses many because it sounds like it involves looking down at another in a self-righteous way. However, Proverbs (and all of Scripture) is replete with examples of how faithful men and women gave and accepted rebuke and correction from those who loved them. Solomon wrote:

I don’t think that we can make much sense of New Testament teachings on correction and restoration without an appreciation for the purpose of rebuke. Loving rebuke is a gift to the wise. Only fools despise it. It is part of the Divine judgment process. The foundation of judgment is our own self-examination. But, since we have deceitful hearts, sometimes self-examination fails us. We may not be aware of our sin, or like King David, we may feel we have carefully concealed it from others.

Whether it be a close friend, like the Prophet Nathan, or one in your own ecclesia, the help and correction of loving brothers and sisters is irreplaceable. Rebuke should be about visible behaviors—such as blowing up in anger or moral violations. Loving rebuke saves the staggering who values righteousness and wisdom. 

God expects us, in love, to provide correction and rebuke to one another. It’s also useful to commend when we see positive behaviors. All must be done as edification. But how does God view it when we see our brother falling into sin and we say nothing? 

There is a mutual dependence that believers have. We are accountable to the Lord, but we are also accountable to one another. Our commitment must be to righteousness. Our first responsibility is to correct foolishness and unrighteousness in ourselves. When we see it manifested in the behavior of our brother or sister, we cannot turn our heads and pretend we don’t see it.

Paul clearly described this process in Galatians 6.

Any rebuke must begin with acknowledging we are no better than the one we are correcting. We could have easily committed this transgression! Solomon, of all men, would learn the value of being corrected when he strayed from God. Perhaps you share my belief that Solomon wrote Ecclesiastes after his repentance. In it, he reflects on life’s emptiness and wisdom’s value. He reflected that the “words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies.” (Ecclesiastes 12:11). The words of wisdom we speak to one another are edifying. They hold the boards of our spiritual lives together. 

Solomon wrote, “Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7). May we all strive to be wise as serpents but harmless as doves. May we, like Solomon, look at all things under the sun with a Divine perspective. It will give us peace and prosper our way.

Dave Jennings