Listening

You can be convinced you’re right and still be called to listen. It’s not about winning, it's about listening. It’s about building faith, connection, and love through genuine conversation.

By Jason Hensley

Read Time: 6 minutes

Do you ever have those times when you know that someone is wrong? You hear what they say, and immediately your mind starts putting together some kind of response that explains how they’re mistaken, or how they can’t possibly be right.

Then, with our knowledge bomb prepared, we either explain to them why they don’t understand the situation and give a rebuttal for all of their points, or we just think to ourselves about our superior knowledge and how it’s too bad that they simply don’t understand what’s true.

Have you ever had a situation like that? And have you ever responded like that? How well did that strategy work?

Isn’t it funny that we are often so sure that we are right, so much so that we can’t even possibly consider any other ideas? Maybe funny isn’t the right word.

Conversely, have you ever experienced the other side of this scenario? Instead of explaining why the other person doesn’t understand perfectly or hasn’t been listening to you, what happened when you decided to listen? Maybe you’ve suddenly realized that you actually agree—and you just misunderstood what was being said. Maybe you actually learned something. Maybe you even changed your opinion. At the very least, the other person may have felt appreciated and heard.

As Christadelphians, we listen a lot. We listen to Bible classes, exhortations, study days, devotionals, and Bible readings. We listen to hymns, and we listen to prayers.

We readily recognize that “All Scripture is breathed out by God” (2 Timothy 3:16),¹ and thus, we devote our lives to not only hearing this Book, but doing what it says. We want to be those who have “ears to hear.” (Matthew 13:9 KJV). Thus, we have structured our whole lives around the idea of hearing.

But then, when it comes to hearing each other, we forget to listen.

I don’t think we’re abnormal in this. Humans just aren’t naturally good at listening. But we can learn. The ecclesia at Rome perhaps gives us a glimpse into ecclesial life when listening has stopped. Paul described a divided group of people where both sides believed they had Biblical reasons for acting the way that they did: “One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.” (Romans 14:2). Eating only vegetables? Certainly, some people make that choice for ethical reasons, but this appears to be a spiritual reason.

When God gave the Law, He put numerous restrictions on food. However, eating only vegetables was not one of them. This choice seems to have originated later than the Torah and connects more with the Book of Daniel—remember when Daniel and his friends refused to eat the king’s food? (Daniel 1:8). Instead, they ate vegetables (v. 16). We can see this same choice reinforced historically. Jews who lived within gentile settings often chose to be vegetarians to avoid the possibility of their food having been offered to idols.² In other words, this group was Jewish and based their actions on faithful people like Daniel. If you were to come to me and say that your decision found its basis in Daniel, I’d say that you were on pretty solid footing.

But then, the other side felt that they could eat anything. And truly, they were right. Jesus declared all foods clean (Mark 7:19).

Yet these believers weren’t just struggling with food. “One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike.” (Romans 14:5a). What could this be describing? It sounds like the Sabbath—again, something which clearly had its basis in the Bible.

Often, when people read Romans 14, they try to apply it to low-stakes situations. I’ve heard numerous discussions in which Romans 14 came up in debates over neckties. But to make Romans 14 about whether or not we wear a tie on Sunday is to miss the point entirely: there are no Bible verses anywhere about ties. Sure, we can talk about principles related to dress, but that’s not what is happening in Romans 14. Instead, Romans 14 shows a divided ecclesia in which both sides have Biblical support for their arguments. One side is following Daniel and holding up the principle of rest established in Genesis 2. Another side is following Christ. That’s not a good situation—Daniel and Genesis cannot be pitted against Christ.

So what’s the solution? First, Paul states, “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” (Romans 14:5b). It isn’t bad to believe that you’re right—in fact, this is how we should feel. If we don’t think our beliefs are correct, why do we believe them? But then, what do you do with a situation where each person feels convinced in their own mind? And has Bible verses to support their position? Second, Paul urges them to stop judging one another. We can’t listen until we are willing to recognize that the other side is indeed sincere and indeed trying to follow God. Thus, while we are persuaded of our position, we can’t judge someone as a good or a bad servant. They might act in a different way (and have support for why they do that). This lack of judgment paves the way for the final step: “For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.” (Romans 14:15-16). Do you see how Paul changes everything? Yes, we should believe that our ideas are right, but being right isn’t actually the most important thing. The most important thing is that we’re thinking about one another.

We’re so often focused on who can win the argument or who has the best proofs. But in this situation, Paul says it’s not actually about the one who is right. It’s about the one who does whatever they can to help grow their brother or sister’s faith. And how does that happen? Through discussions, hence, “Do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.” In other words, talk it out. Listen. Discuss.

Thus, in this issue, we have a number of topics that should provoke some thoughts. These aren’t just things to read and then go back to being the same person as before. These are articles that should prompt you to think—to think about your own life, your ecclesia, and your community. In the Life Application section, Nathan Badger continues his series on “Psalms for the Night Seasons,” looking specifically at loneliness and what we can do about it (one of these “night lights” is “connection with others,” which definitely involves listening!). As a second article in this section, Lilian Salinas tells the story of how God brought her family out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and into the Christadelphians, specifically discussing how reading Scripture (listening!) changed their lives. For Exhortation and Consolation, Jona Lawson discusses Paul’s last words and the five spiritual charges that he gave to the elders—reflecting on the importance of joy in service. Maritta Terrell finishes her series on Mary and Martha by giving practical ideas for learning to listen to God’s word.

In our new sections, for Back to the Original, Rachel Madden uses Hebrew to explain how ancient Hebrews thought about the world; for those who haven’t thought about concepts like this before, this will likely stretch your thinking and thus may require some extra listening. For Stuff that Works, Jason Grant shares a new website to make it easier for those outside of our community to find Christadelphian ecclesias, offering them the opportunity to listen to the Word. And in the History and Prophecy section, James Asbury lays out the context for the early portion of the Old Testament in an article entitled “Bronzepocalypse,” while Dave Jennings discusses Superintelligence and how that may impact our future.

For our first principle consideration, we’ll discuss a book entitled The Word Became Flesh, and particularly its explanations of some of the trickier passages in the Gospel of John about Christ. In the Bible Studies section, we have three articles in this issue. Ben Brinkerhoff continues “The Chapters that Changed My Life,” unearthing the depth of Romans 7-8 and the purpose of the Law. Shawn Moynihan writes about Diotrephes and the danger of allowing a Diotrephes-like spirit in our own lives (a spirit which prevents us from listening to one another). Then, Richard Morgan writes an article entitled “To Whom Should We Pray?” in which he considers prayers to Jesus. As I said earlier, these are topics that make us think—and topics which call for discussion (meaning that we listen to each other!).

We’ll close this issue with an article about missionary work in Italy and George Booker’s part two of his retelling of the birth of Christ from a shepherd’s perspective.

Once again, we have a feast for our minds. These articles prompt us to think harder, to dive deeper into the Word, and to grow closer to our God. Ultimately, as we ponder these things and their impact upon our lives and actions, may we talk with one another—and as we talk, may we remember to listen.

Jason Hensley